I know a lot has happened in the stars this month - I’m no expert so I won’t be able to recall exactly what happened or why, but I can tell you how it made me feel: some days were packed with sureness, productivity and alignment while others were dizzy, slow and brain foggy. I spent little time wishing, asking, yearning, wanting, and more time doing, moving, acting - someone on tiktok said now is not the time to ask from the universe but to move through this moment in time and let the universe do its thing. I simply accepted where I was at, where everything and everyone else was at, and that has been a nice headspace to exist in for a while. As September comes to an end, I’m gearing up for some shifts in Q4. Let’s get into it!

I had a goal planning session with my friend and we categorized our long term and short term goals together - everything from internal/self goals like love, career, emotional and physical health, to external goals ie financial milestones, friendship developments, travel goals, etc. The overarching theme of Q4 (for me) is to lock in and level up. There are so many small pieces that I’ve been fine tuning in my life (personal and work processes, digital declutter, morning and night routines, collecting journal prompts, writing and rewriting my manifesto) and I’m ready for all of these pieces to come together to bring me to the top of the mountain.

Other news / Updates: I’m still working for KAR Creative (yay!) I’m managing a new client account that I’m super excited about and I’m working on a fun project that feels impactful while still providing the right amount of challenge. (Also, I started a master YouTube course because I want to start a little channel to house the videos I make - more on that later! And by later I mean in the next month or two!)

You’re all caught up! Onto my favorite moments of September!

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Goal Setting Session — as I mentioned above, this was a huge prep month. I was advised not to ask for anything or make any drastic changes, so I decided to prep and conceptualize the changes that I will soon ask for and take action on. This is one of the first times I intentionally sat down with someone other than just myself to align on goals, human development and self growth. It felt so nice to say some things out loud, to practice some exposure therapy, and to learn about my friend Eush in the process. I was warmed by the ways we’re similar and inspired by the ways we are different. After our session, I created a goal setting template on Google Sheets. If you’re in a season of goal orientation and would like to set and track your progress, here is the link!

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Billie Marten at The Independent — truthfully I am not the biggest Billie fan, but I do love to throw on her music when I’m in spending time with myself or conjuring calmness. Her latest record is a nice album to drive to, walk to, write to. Karina and I saw her play at The Independent and it was the first sold out show of the tour! Her sense of humor is dry and witty. The drummer doubles as the percussionist with 3 wind chimes to his left. Billie wore this gorgeous lavender skirt that shimmered under stage lights as she swayed, strummer her guitar and sang a studio-like vocal (I don’t know how to describe this but basically the way she sounds on the album is how she sounds live. A true talent!) I loved the show, was moved by her performance, and spotted a handful of hotties in the crowd (did i speak to any of them? no! i was shy)

Joe’s Birthday — to celebrate, the four of us made nachos and margaitas and watched Pracitcal Magic. Joe lit the autumn scented candles that Jack got him from P.F. Candle Co. (the Spiced Pumpkin is lovely, but the new Cathedral Clove smells so good!) It was a cozy night. Pics below!

Music I’m loving:

NULL / NULL

My co-worker at Conway, Sam Morton, worked on this project. The lead singer form his band, Sad Park, did some vocals on this EP. I think this project is so fun! If you don’t know me, I was raised on Deftones, Tool, Incubus, etc. so I love this sort of punk rock hyper pop fusion.

Who’s the Clown? / Audrey Hobert

I haven’t been addicted on a pop record since Tate McRae’s album (yeah, I liked it. like a lot. just wait for my apple music replay at the end of the year…) this record is pop perfection. The melodies are playful and bratty and sarcastic. Audrey’s storytelling is charming and real and funny and so painstakingly honest. I’m humbly using this time to put out feelers for any connection to a ticket to either the LA or SF shows. Thanks to the bots, I was unable to purchase any during presale and general. (i’m being totally cool and chill about it as i’m writing this but deep deep down, I’m desperately longing to go to her show. little chibi needs it.)

THAT’S SHOWBIZ BABY! / JADE

This cute guy who works at a flower shop told me to watch the Angel of my Dreams music video last year and I’ve been waiting for JADE’s debut album ever since! After a pivot in Sabrina’s sound (Man’s Best Friend is growing on me, but it’s no Short n’ Sweet…) I’ve been waiting for a fun pop record! Obviously Audrey filled this gap in the culture market, but gosh was it a long, lousy summer with zero anthem and such bad vibes (thanks to the US govt, etc) All that to say, I’m so happy fun pop is back! (omg also taylor is release in a week… i’m sacred! will she flop? please don’t do max like that… please let it be good!!!!)

The coziest YouTube video I watched this month:
boyfriend book swap 📖 cozy fantasy vs dystopian sci-fi

The most informative YouTube video I watched this month:
How brands manipulate you into buying more

The TikToks I keep returning to:
CatGPT and friends talking about business
The Lab on Building Fandom, Not Virality
Keep Going by Writers Camp

The journal prompt that made me push my pen:
What does your relationship with yourself look like?

In my shopping cart:
Alma Bath Towel, Autumn Sonata
Psyche, Akila Eyewear
Shibuya Pleated Pants, Pool House New York

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Hope you had a lovely summer. I’m wishing you a gorgeous start to autumn. Tis the season for apple picking, drinking chai lattes, listening to folklore and evermore, and watching Gilmore Girls. <3 Lastly, I’ll leave you with a playlist of my September favorites below. That’s all for now! More in October! xx

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september favorites, 2025 (apple music)

september favorites, 2025 (spotify)

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@piscesnotebook @charronelliott

before we get there, one major life change: i quit my job at kar creative. if you know me, you that know i was really excited about this role - i‘ve spent 4+ years working up to this point in my career so walking away from being a social media manager wasn’t easy. that being said, i flexed some familiar muscles by honoring my needs. i’m more than ready to take a break from being chronically online and i’m looking forward to creating space to reconnect with myself. i have a few projects that i want to work on, this being one of them, and i’m excited to dedicate more of myself to myself.

i don’t know what’s next for me in terms of social, but i think the intersection between marketing and creative will always excite me, so i’m very curious to see where i’ll go from here.

that’s generally where i’m at. onto my favorites of the month!

my favorite moments

7YLA — as i mentioned, the 1st of july marked 7 years in los angeles. i feel like 7 means a lot to a lot of people. it doesn’t mean much to me in terms of luck or spirituality (8 has always been my number), but it’s not lost on me that making it in this city is an accomplishment. here’s a video i made to time stamp and commemorate this season of my my life in LA.

Jack’s Latest Piece — jack dropped his latest painting, Fine Ass Girls Going Out Tonight. having conversations with jack about showing up online has been helpful for me as i navigate my relationship to social. talking through strategy and world building with the removal of due dates, deadlines, and dollar signs made the experience freeing and fruitful. back to the painting, i’m forever floored by jack’s ability to bring glassware to life through oil on wood. the way he plays with reflection and lighting makes me feel like i’m nestled in the coziest of spaces, warm and safe, even with the premise of the piece leaning into the idea of nightlife.

Danny’s Dinner Party — danny hosted a gorgeous dinner party in our backyard. a few close friends wandered over as we were in the midst of preparing - it was nice to be seen as a unit organizing something special. joe designed an arrangement with stems that we hand selected with the help of the florists at Floral Art by Mia. we enjoyed bucatini with a homemade cashew-based sauce courtesy of danny, a light and refreshing salad tossed by ray and ale, some chocolate covered harry’s berries that i prepared, paired with wine from Angeleno Wine Co. that jack picked up. we managed to enjoy the meal with only a few mosquito bites, huge win! back in the house, we paired jack’s peach cobbler with some vanilla ice cream and garnished with mint leaves form the garden.

Los Fleaz — jack and i were on the bill for los fleaz alongside HUNY XO, and we played 2 sets! it was an energetically charged experience. the tension of being seen trying, the process of hand selecting tracks, prepping and designing a set - it was all very thrilling. if you missed it, don’t you worry - we’re resident djs! follow @losfleaz on instagram and we’ll see you at the next fleaz. if we don’t see you, i hope you’re in total alignment.

creators i’m loving:

@kalxsha / @thelabisalive — lately, i’ve been obsessed with kalesha madlani, creator of the lab. she is a creative strategist with extensive experience working in the music industry. kalesha launched her podcast this month and i’m hooked. naturally, i started to dig for more of her content and came across a very fun episode of nicky at night with nicky reardon (@nicky.reardon) that she was featured on where they dive into music marketing and world building - if you’re a music nerd, aspiring a&r or artist manager, i highly recommend! as i’m redefining what the future of my career will look like, i’m taking immense inspiration from kalesha and her work with the lab!

@chloeeshel — chloe and i met on a zoom call a few months ago when we ended up working on a brand project together. soon after, we ran into each other irl at my friends cafe in virgil village, good friend coffee, and exchanged info. since then, we’ve done a few content days together and it’s been really nice to create for creation sake. she’s been a major advocate of my creative work, and has shown me endless support in my decision to take a break from social. chloe has a deep understanding for brand world building, how to leverage aspirational content through influencer activations, and build communities for brands online. she’s working with a really fun beverage brand that i think you should check out! more on that later.

@ayanna_cooks / @the_apartmentcafe — ayanna joined the KAR Creative team back in may. when we met, i was immediately energized by her - ayanna loves social, is great at storytelling and community building, and is so fun to work alongside. she recently kicked off her new side project, the apartment cafe, a monthly community event hosted by her as a way to make new friends in nyc. if i wasn’t being financially conservative (i did just quit my job so…), i’d have an east coast flight booked to make it to the next one. if you are based in new york, consider checking it out!

brands to keep an eye on:

@drinkbeergirl — beer girl is the cutest beer brand to ever exist. you think i’m joking? check out their branding. my friend chloe has been managing their instagram and she’s poured so much life into their online space. recently, they’ve partnered with a handful of brands and have co-hosted community events in los anegles. if that’s your thing, you should consider giving them a follow so you don’t miss the next one! aside form the branding and irl activations, the beer is actually so nice. my roommates and i recently enjoyed some on a 7pm evening, windows open, summer heat fading, billie marten playing in the background. it tastes like stella’s younger cousin - refreshing and light. and i didn’t even feel bloated after drinking! it was a divine experience.

@cosa__ceramica — if you know me, you know i’m almost exclusively drinking from a ceramic mug/cup, most of which have been made by @karinablackk, the creative genius behind COSA. one of my favorite drinking glasses is the ripple cup. I don’t think those are available at this time, but karina recently launched a restock of some other handmade goodies - check it out on the COSA website. and if you’re in los angeles, COSA is opening up in virgil village this summer! if you’re curious about COSA’s opening, karina has been sharing her journey on social!

favorites in music:

billie marten / dog eared — billie marten dropped some new easy listening ear candy with her fifth full length album, dog eared. it’s a new release so I’m still getting to know it, but i will say it sounds like the billie marten i know and love. my initial thoughts on when to play this album - 1pm at a cafe, when making a colorful salad at home on a summer afternoon, or when going for a drive to the beach on a lazy sunday. it’s the perfect soundtrack to any of those experiences, and likely many more! karina and i have tickets to see her in san francisco at the end of the summer, and i’m very excited to be serenaded.

kevin abstract + friends / blush — i’ve been listening to a few tracks from this project. because of the place i’m in sonically (which is either softer acoustic contemplative alternative or heavy experimental electronic pc music), much of the album hasn’t grabbed me. the one’s that have feature dominic fike, maroon, doggy, and geezer. i will say, based on the interviews i’ve seen and the way KA has described the concept of blush, i am intrigued and ultimately love the way that community and non-commitment is at the core of what blush is. two interviews that break it down: Kevin + friends on Zach Sang Show and 10 Minutes with Kevin Abstract.

new blood orange — dev hynes has released a few blood orange singles ahead of the late august release of essex honey. the track i have on repeat is “the field” featuring many talents, including one of my favorite girls, caroline polachek. her reverberated vocal hauntingly wailing “sing to me, in the heat of the sun / sing to me, when the day is done” makes me feel so many things. warm, existential, and contemplative all at once? incredible work.

justin bieber / swag — and of course, swag. unoriginally, i think it’s really very good, with the exception of the druski interludes. it’s so nice to have new jb, and the praise from former and new fans is well deserved imo.

transparently, i haven’t listened to too much else aside from that. in preparation for my los fleaz set, i was doing a lot of digging, purchasing, and practicing. i’ll link a few of my favorite remixes that i played at the party below:

• KIM POSSIBLE (TEHN remix)

• Lana Del Rey - A&W (CyberKills Remix)

• Kim Petras - Polo (Säfira Remix)

• Caroline Polachek - Welcome to my Island (stereonuke's "after-work" edit)

lastly, i’ll leave you with a playlist of my july favorites below.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and for supporting. i’m still fine tuning cadence, content, and much more for this space, but if there’s anything you’d like to hear more about, i’m all ears! send me a message on instagram (linked below) and follow for more. :)

lovu!

charron

july favorites (apple music) / july favorites (spotify)

instagram

@piscesnotebook / @charronelliott

Since moving into my 1 bedroom, I’ve been eyeing this Terry Bath Mat by Tekla in the Black Stripes color way - I think it would perfectly complement the baby blue tile in my bathroom. Here’s a poorly photoshopped image of what I imagine it will look like one day, I can’t wait! Perhaps this can double as a manifestation board. In the words of Hannah Diamond, I am building my own world

The Western Belt from Elless Studio, Joe Lee’s brand, is simply classic and I think it’s a solid wardrobe staple. I’ve been eyeing it for about a year, but my little black belt from Khol’s that I’ve had for the last half decade is still getting me by so I haven’t upgraded.

I own two sport style sneakers - the New Balance 2002R that I purchased before going on a 3 day Disneyland escapade with my bestie Bella, and a random pair of all white Adidas that I bought on sale because I needed a basic pair of running shoes, I think they’re the Pureboost 23. But these Salomon XT-6s are so fun! I’m obsessed with the Black / Falcon / Cow Hide color way. I’ve been really into dancing alone in my apartment and I want to put these on and pretend I know what I’m doing when no one is looking hehe.

This is a no brainer and I actually need to just buy it when I get the chance because it’s so cute and I’ve been wanting it for like 8 months. This Stadium Zip Up from Paloma Wool needs to hang in my wardrobe like never because I’ll be constantly wearing it all of the time. As a Swiftie, it’s a crime that I do not own this piece.

These Italian Ice Cream Coupes from Lazy Jamie are super cute - the only thing holding me back is that I feel like the stainless steel train is here, and she may just ride away. I guess I’m trying to be mindful of the trend cycle of it all, and to be intentional about my purchases. But nonetheless, they’re very cute and I could use these for so many things - as candy bowls, for dinner party appetizers, cocktails, etc.

These cute ass Luciano Boots from Eytys have been on my list for years actually, not because I’m on the fence but they’re just generally out of my price range - a solid splurge or an after pay purchase. I think I’ll get them one day, unless I find something better - if you know of any solid dupes, or perhaps a better brand from a sustainable (both financial and material) standpoint let me know! But, ugh, I just want to go to fancy dinner parties wearing my cute boots and shiny jewelry from Mondo Mondo and eat delicious pasta and drink glasses of red with my girlies. The very unique experience of a Gen Z baby in their 20s.

I don’t know anything about this brand really, I think this might’ve come from an Instagram ad if I’m being honest, but I love the shade of blue that these 7” Beacher Shorts by Everest Isles come in. I wholehearted believe that Chibi SS24 would look very hot in these, just saying.

Helena Haddox is a ceramicist based in Texas and she made my favorite coffee mug that I ordered before the checkered trend cycle came and went (therefore I doesn’t give me the ick, which I love). She just dropped a limited run of handmade candlestick holders and I really like them - again, the silver/stainless steel trend is here in a huge way and while I do love it, I don’t want to overdo it (the silver holders have already sold out at the time of posting this!). Anyway, support your non-local Instagram artist’s passion project turned side hustle.

I have more, but maybe I’ll cIrClE bAcK in a month or two if this still feels relevant or fun for me, and for you! :)

Thanks for reading! Happy saving, or spending - I won’t project my journey onto you. Get yours babe.

Lovu - xoxoxoxo - Chibi

Danny and I saw Buck Raines and Ggwendolyn play a small show in Boyle Heights. A few friends were there and it was nice to kiki between sets. Ggwendolyn has a wonderful nervousness to her stage presence that comes off as authentic, intentional, and in turn, confident.

I posted my first paid content piece for a new product launch with EADEM which was both nerve racking and exciting. It’s not my best work, but I was challenged to create camera facing content which was a nice creative push.

I’ve been eternally gagging all month long. My favorites are: we can’t be friends, supernatural (feat. troye baby), title track, yes and (extended), and the boy is mine. I really love that AG7 dropped the weekend of daylight savings - very thematic from a planning perspective. If you haven’t watched her 2 part interview with Zach Sang, I highly recommend!

An industry friend dropped off two tickets for JT at The Wiltern, so of course Stacey and I went. The *NSYNC moment was obviously insane. Seeing Coco Jones perform was a huge highlight of the night, oh and Travis Kelce was there (he was right behind us in the crowd, no TS though!)

A few days later, I saw Ryan Beatty. All I have to say is y’all better hope he drops a Calico live album so you can get a taste of that magic… it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve heard. An incredible live performance. And Little Faith to end the set… I sobbed. It was exactly what I needed. Also seeing Ryan Beatty with my bestie for the 3rd time was just so fucking cool - we’ve been moving into bigger venues with him since Boy in Jeans in 2018.

I celebrated my 26th birthday this month which meant I had to show up for the last of my appointments. I saw the dentist, my eye doctor, and showed for my final visit at Kaiser Permanente.

The Sunday before I turned 26, my closest friends came over to my apartment and cooked for me. Joe made a few different delicious cocktails - spring is coming with a double shot blackberry spritz in the mouth! Dorrin made a decadent plant based cake, zucchini with chocolate ganache and it was actually the best birthday treat I had - my sweet tooth is almost nonexistent so this was perfect. Hit up @tummydepot for your next celebratory moment!

On the day, I worked until I blew my candles out! My place of employment gifted me a nice bottle of tequila, carrot cake from Susie Cakes, and a large beautiful arrangement from Gilly. I gave hugs, cut the cake and wandered home for a quick meal and nap - day 1 of my late 20s and I’m actually a literal grandpa. When we were ready, Karina and I clinked drinks and then wandered to Akbar. I drank slowly, pacing myself; I wanted to remember the handholds, sweet convos, warm hugs, and watch the people I love the most find a rhythm with each other. It was a river of love, and I was so swept away. I cried in Ben’s arms, embraced with Stacey, danced with Joe, and then we fed the jukebox and owned the place. I still can’t believe it was real - it was absolutely right.

The back end of March was settling into work and getting serious about my finances - not always fun but very necessary. In leu of loud budgeting, leftovers with the boys and home cooked meals are back in a huge way. Whatever is in my cupboard is my wallets best friend - also, I should be making things with my hands… I don’t do that enough. Anyway, the boys and I miss you Morphine Love Dion, Joe especially. A couple days later on Transgender Day of Visibility, I cooked, we watched Up! and played sequence on the coffee table at mine.

I am so very grateful for the love, the company, the tears, the magic, the privilege to know such wonderful humans and engage with them so intimately. Like, what the fuck… how is this MY life. I’m so so very lucky.

Lovu so much - I’ll remember this forever - xoxoxox

Sorry I didn’t hear you, my AirPods weren’t on transparency mode

This goes without saying, but yes, and? 18+ times a day, specifically the extended mix - that shit eeeeaaaats. My favorite part of the extendo are the four yeses as the beat builds in the intro - it’s so SZA in her IG live era during covid, sound bowls and chanting yes to higher her vibration.

I came across this episode of Let It Out by Katie Dalebout about a month ago and I really enjoyed it. It was long, and not everything syncs, but I took away more than I passed on. It touches on friendship, showing up supportively and authentically, and there were of course a few girlboss moments that I unfortunately loved - freelancing advice, writing advice, resources, etc.

I’ve returned to Calico. Something about this album reminds me of living in Eagle Rock and watching Call Me by Your Name or driving up to Big Bear for the day, sitting at the tree. It’s running up that hill and looking out over our little small town. It’s so many things. Anyway, it sounds really lovely while I shower in the baby blue bathroom of my new apartment - the safest place on earth.

Again and Again and Again

I’m living in this puffer that I found in the lost and found at my job. It’s cropped, fits my arm length perfectly, and is lined with a nice silk-like purple interior - kind of random but I do like it. I wear it like 3 times a week. I tried to find but couldn’t so no link, sorz.

TikTok’s favorite loafer, Dr. Martens Adrian Loafers. I’d been eyeing them for years, but I wanted to sooo badly to be different, whaa. When I tried to purchase these Proenza Schouler Black Lug Sole Loafers from an ssense (final) sale, I literally almost got stuck with this pair of shoes that were nearly $400 and didn’t fit. I even took them to a shoe repair store to get them stretched. I sillily ordered the wrong size - the EU → US size chart was women’s, sooo yeah! But I asked nicely and I was able to exchange them. All that to say, I have loafers now, and I’ve been loving them for the past few months. And I am just like other girls.

I have this tendency to order a few pairs of jeans and rotate them for 3-6 months until I realize I don’t like the way they fit me anymore, or something about them turns me off. Anyway, the current lifecycle of jeans (and my favorite pair) are these Levi’s Ribcage Wide Leg Women’s Jeans. I love the slight fade after a few washes and they fall really nicely. Material-wise, a little thin so I think they’ll be nice jeans for summer nights in LA, but they don’t always keep me warm during a California winter.

A Thought Caught in Chibi’s Cabeza

I’m a little less curious about what bands celebrities are using. I don’t think that I care to know if the girls are using $7 lip balm from CVS or $54 gloss from Sephora - I want to know the application, the technique, the product type. Are you a wire-headphone girlie, or over the ear wireless, or noise-canceling earbud? Do you have auto-caps on or off? Are you Google Calendaring or Apple Calendaring? Analog? No calendar, free will? Phone case or caseless? Balm with built-in applicator or screw top finger-to-lip application? Do you chew or suck on your mints? Mints over gum? You know? It’s like, let me get to know you. Tell me something fun. I do love cute branding though. I’m a sucker for it. I guess, since I brought up mints, I really like these mints. I found them at Lazy Acres and their peppermint is super yum!

So, I hope you’re well and having fun with whatever it is you’re doing, drinking water I hope. Are you enjoying your life? Think about that for a moment.

That is all.

xx Chibi

What I’m trying to say is, I realized that I’d swung and I didn’t strike out. And I truly don’t think that I will - until I’m dead, of course. But there’s this thing in me that keeps leading me right, and I’ve been afraid to call it out as I might jinx it. But I don’t think that’s actually the case if I’m being honest.

Anyway, all of that to say I’m feeling proud again and more connected to myself than I have felt in a while - all thanks to warm hugs, long conversations, big laughs, and oceans of love. I love you a lot.

--

Chibi

Seen Library is a community with efforts to divert from the feedings of the algorithm and connect with a good book. Jordan Risa, the creator of Seen Library (she holds many creative titles - you should check out how to be a woman on the internet), was super sweet and personable. I purchased two books from her, both preloved and hand wrapped in creamy paper accompanied by a library card that included themes, quotes, and clues to the premise of the book. It’s been really inspiring seeing her open this project to the public. One of the books I unwrapped was Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. I took my time reading this - I’m historically known to read slowly; short attention span, ya know? - even though I was excited by this book. Every time I opened it and read a passage, I thought about my family - more specifically my grandparents. It made me feel warm, inspired, both challenged and determined to think about what I value in life. Although this is a shorter read, it took me about 2 months to get through, and those 2 months I spent enjoying this story were very very lovely.

I underlined a ton of quotes and paragraphs and there’s a few that I want to revisit with you. This idea of an “underlined tour” was heavily inspired by Jordan’s recently read series on her substack. My little spin on it is elaborating on my underlinings. Let’s get into it!

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

This book is short, sweet, and heartwarming. Mitch Albom takes you through the lessons of life, inevitable loss, personal growth, and loving the journey. If you haven’t read it yet, I won’t spoil too much - I’ll let these quotes raise of lower your curiosity.

My underlinings:

This is Morrie talking to Mitch in one of their lessons. I love this quote because acceptance and forgiveness is something I struggle with. There’s a lot of shit from my upbringing that I carry with me on a daily. I’ve dug into it a few times in solitude, but I need miss therapist (not putting her name out there lol) to help me work it out or I’m gonna have to swipe left.

One thing I’ve been actively trying to do in this era of palace minding is creating a space for my contradictions to exist. I heard someone talk about this idea in a TikTok once and it’s been in the back of my head since then. I think by allowing myself to see my worst self, I can accept my worst self and forgive myself for moments when I’ve been in that space. I hope this practice will lead me to the forgiveness of others. Life is short. I’m tryna hug my enemies and move on.

This is Mitch talking about Morrie. I know some people like this - it’s such a special feeling when your walls just drop and you don’t even really know why. You just know you can be yourself, show yourself, be seen and feel heard. It’’s such light feeling. I hope everybody has a person in their life who unlocks the best parts of them.

The last part of this quote struck me. After years of working, skill building, and establishing myself in creative social, I found myself wrapped up in the benefits of having more money. I’m not rich by any means, but I am making the most money I’ve ever made in my life (I work two full-time jobs, it’s almost a necessity for some living in Los Angeles unfortunately). I often feel myself craving time with my family, missing my sisters, wishing I had a few more hours to sit and chat with my besties. I am proud of how far I’ve come, the job titles that I hold, and the accomplishments I’ve made with the increase of my finances. But I am working on listening to my body. As a creative person, and as a human who simply needs human connection to sustain my happiness, I need to vacate sometimes, and that’s okay. I need to call home, or even hop on a flight and hug some of my family members - especially the ones that will inevitably go away in the few years to come. If I think about it too much it scares me. Maybe I should be thinking about it more often.

When I turned 25, I wads reminded of impermanence. There was a huge cast change in my life - and I’m not the type of person that needs a large group of people around me to feel good about myself, but I did feel the lack of a few people’s energies in the room.

Since reading this book, I’ve been trying to detach from my feelings, good or bad, when I feel them strongly. Even if I’m so so happy, I remind myself that I am not happy, I feel happy. And that will change. And that’s literally so normal and totally okay.

As I’m writing these little blurbs about why I underlined some of these things, I’m realizing what a challenge it is to describe why things resonate with me. Sometimes I can easily be like: yeah, I experienced xy and z and that’s why I like this line. But I recently watched an interview that Caroline Polachek did where she say’s something along the lines of: people are always trying to think logically about art and sometimes there’s nothing logical about it - it’s just a feeling.

Anyway, I’m really excited to find myself in a moment of confusion or crossroads, and return to this little piece of content to bring me back down.

I think this is just so cool. The idea that someone has so much self awareness and self control to be like: I feel sad, so I’m going to allow myself to cry. And once they cry, they say, great. I’m done. Let’s do this. And then they like live their day. Maybe more people operate like this than I’m aware of.

This is a level I want to access. If life was a video game, this is the level I’d want to play at until the game ends.

I love how challenging these questions are. They remind me of conversations with Bella. Super life focused, very direct and serious in the best way. This quote makes me a little happy, a little sappy, and very curious about my future. I like to believe that I will fumble my way into someones life and foster a really loving connection with them. But I really don’t know what miss moon and the universe are conspiring for me - all I know is that they are conspiring and that it’s gonna get good. I’m eager and excited for that. And I’m just so lucky to have some special people in my life to share my heart with until then. The boys and Rini, Gramoo and Stacey, my scorpios. I’m really grateful to know brilliant, beautiful, kind, loving people who share their thoughts and ideas with me, share spaces with me, their curations and creations with me. I love this little life of ours.

Thank you for reading my notebook - I appreciate your time! I’ve been toying with the idea of taking people on micro-tours as a form of expression and connection, but I haven’t narrowed down the best way to execute this yet. I think elaborating on the passages I love in a book through writing is the best medium for this tour. I’d love to take you on a future tour of my mug collection, maybe via a YouTube video or a TikTok (I’m still waiting on a mug to arrive from one of my favorite creators before I film this, so stay tuned for that!)

I’m still working out how I want this little space to take shape. If you want to troll, send me a DM. If you want to tell me that you like this, leave a yelp review. If you feel indifferent, let me know in the line for coffee at Maru.

Thanks again. xx

• brave new era loading

• getting older —my world, communion, and quarter life excitement

• don’t date a rouge member

i wouldn’t be where i’m at without the people in my world who’ve shown me so much love, support and compassion, and who keep me on the ground. mom, thank you for letting me call and cry every single day for weeks after the break up. i love the connection we’ve fostered after all of these years. gramoo, i appreciate you reminding me that i deserve love and respect - i love to hear about how you and papa met and fell in love, it’s one of my favorite things. jack and joe, i’m crying writing this… i love you two deeply. i wouldn’t be who i am today without our time at 4855. i learned and continue to learn so much from observing the love you two pour into each other and into me. i hold our moments very close to my heart — you two mean so much to me. bella, miles away or down the street, you’ve always kept me grounded, call me on my bullshit, and show me so so so much love. thank you for showing up for me time and time again, for making me laugh, for going to bleachers and bad suns shows with me, and for keeping me looped in on the family. karina, you’re like a sister to me. i still remember the day we met (at CA Jacobs) on the courtyard, and the moment i knew your friendship was special (i was rolling at coachella, aww). i’m so grateful for your loyalty, your passion for your family, your ability to honor yourself and express yourself with so much truth. i love you so much, this is our era! stacey, i just love you. you’ve given me so much. laying on the floor and listening to music with you at 2am is one of my favorite things to do ever. i love doing life with you. thank you for every opportunity you’ve given me to be successful in this city, in the world, in life. i’m so lucky to have someone like you in my corner. nikki, you’ve been a rock in my life forever. i don’t think i would’ve made it out of dixon without you. i remember the moment you unlocked something in me and i knew i could leave for LA. you’d pick up every phone call, talk me down, show up for me whenever i needed you. and i know i can still count on you today - states away, i still feel your love and our connection. thank you for all of the support you’ve shown me over the years. tye, i hold a special place in my heart for you. you’re like a brother - i cherish all of our seasons. i’ve started so many journeys with you. high school, lowenthal, moving to LA. i’ll never forget that moment at coachella (i guess this is where my most pivotal life moments take place? this is a theme i will discuss with my therapist) when we felt like it was the beginning of everything. “it’s all happening, bitch!” i love you so much. delia, my pisces witch! i miss you all the time, LA feels different without you. i’m so proud of you for honoring yourself - you inspire me to lean into me. you’ve always been a bright energy the lights up any space with your witty, silly goofiness. i remember going through your memory box on the floor of your apartment in the valley - that felt so intimate and very dixon. your love is so pure, so intent, raw and real. i’m so grateful to know you, to have been blessed with so many years and memories with you - you’re a gem, d. i love you! cristina, sister! i love you dearly. you kept me grounded through years of chaos and confusion in my early 20s. we embarked on a business journey together, bonded over our imposter syndrome, and made each other feel seen. i’ll never forget our time together at conway, joesph michael, all of our little wine nights. i know there’s so much in store for us, and i can’t wait to see what you do! you inspire me. love you! dave, you taught me a lot about music, art, culture. you’ve talked me out of some low lows, and you always made sure i was having fun and was safe when i was a kid. i love our chats about life, lana (you’re the only one who gets her), the davis days. love you!

(lol it’s giving yearbook, it’s giving acceptance speech. this is my acceptance speech for completing 25 years of life)

—

i think i’ve spent a lot of my early 20s trying to be perfect and not fuck up, but i need to fuck up more i think. learn from the fuck ups, take that info and keep it moving. 

—

my late twenty’s manifesto

the footnotes of my twenty’s feel like sureness, slowness, challenge and mess; it feels a little more raw, honest, scawy. these years look like crooked smiles, belly laughs, handholds, beautiful videos of sunsets at barnsdall, candle lit photographs, sun kissed skin, weekend getaways to some middle of california oasis, and soft moments with my family. the rest of my twenty’s taste like brita filtered water, the bolognese from la buca, peppermint tea, an iced matcha latte on a nice 80 degree day in LA. the back end of my twenty’s smell like morning coffee, overpriced perfume that makes me feel sexy, the latest recipe i’m trying my very best to perfect (i’m no chef, oops), the eucalyptus draping over my showerhead, my favorite hand cream, fresh flowers in the house, salt air, banana bread. my late twenty’s sound like lana del rey on the record player (duh), songs of birds outside my window, my gramoo’s voice on a two hour phone call, a children’s choir at the CEP show, my most favorite people laughing and singing in the car and talking shit and exchanging fun stories and saying i love you a lot of times.

well, that’s my life! thank you so much for spending time with me. i hope you enjoyed it, because i know i did.

if you’ve read this far, you’re a baddie and i truly appreciate your time. i don’t really know how this space is going to take shape, but if you’re a nosy b*tch that wants to keep up with the chibi diaries, subscribe and substack will email you when i publish something again.

til then, xx

charron