getting older — my world, communion, and quarter life excitement
the past few years of my life have been funny. covid aside, i didn’t think this is how everything would pan out. i never believed i’d actually work in social media or that i’d make enough money to buy myself a new car. i never knew if i’d ever date anyone, let alone live with them. i never thought i’d live with jack and joe again (ugh, i love them) or rinsta. or that i’d quit smoking cigs, that i’d ever work in coffee again, that i’d return to conway. all of these little things that popped up, fell into my lap, came in and out of my world and back in again… ahhhh. it’s like magic, idk! i’m in awe. i’m saying all of this because sometimes (often) i stress about what’s next and i just need to chill and believe that it’ll all work out. because mf it has! somehow, everything has come together in ways i didn’t think were possible. it’s all happening. everything’s growing in our garden. good day in my mind!
i wouldn’t be where i’m at without the people in my world who’ve shown me so much love, support and compassion, and who keep me on the ground. mom, thank you for letting me call and cry every single day for weeks after the break up. i love the connection we’ve fostered after all of these years. gramoo, i appreciate you reminding me that i deserve love and respect - i love to hear about how you and papa met and fell in love, it’s one of my favorite things. jack and joe, i’m crying writing this… i love you two deeply. i wouldn’t be who i am today without our time at 4855. i learned and continue to learn so much from observing the love you two pour into each other and into me. i hold our moments very close to my heart — you two mean so much to me. bella, miles away or down the street, you’ve always kept me grounded, call me on my bullshit, and show me so so so much love. thank you for showing up for me time and time again, for making me laugh, for going to bleachers and bad suns shows with me, and for keeping me looped in on the family. karina, you’re like a sister to me. i still remember the day we met (at CA Jacobs) on the courtyard, and the moment i knew your friendship was special (i was rolling at coachella, aww). i’m so grateful for your loyalty, your passion for your family, your ability to honor yourself and express yourself with so much truth. i love you so much, this is our era! stacey, i just love you. you’ve given me so much. laying on the floor and listening to music with you at 2am is one of my favorite things to do ever. i love doing life with you. thank you for every opportunity you’ve given me to be successful in this city, in the world, in life. i’m so lucky to have someone like you in my corner. nikki, you’ve been a rock in my life forever. i don’t think i would’ve made it out of dixon without you. i remember the moment you unlocked something in me and i knew i could leave for LA. you’d pick up every phone call, talk me down, show up for me whenever i needed you. and i know i can still count on you today - states away, i still feel your love and our connection. thank you for all of the support you’ve shown me over the years. tye, i hold a special place in my heart for you. you’re like a brother - i cherish all of our seasons. i’ve started so many journeys with you. high school, lowenthal, moving to LA. i’ll never forget that moment at coachella (i guess this is where my most pivotal life moments take place? this is a theme i will discuss with my therapist) when we felt like it was the beginning of everything. “it’s all happening, bitch!” i love you so much. delia, my pisces witch! i miss you all the time, LA feels different without you. i’m so proud of you for honoring yourself - you inspire me to lean into me. you’ve always been a bright energy the lights up any space with your witty, silly goofiness. i remember going through your memory box on the floor of your apartment in the valley - that felt so intimate and very dixon. your love is so pure, so intent, raw and real. i’m so grateful to know you, to have been blessed with so many years and memories with you - you’re a gem, d. i love you! cristina, sister! i love you dearly. you kept me grounded through years of chaos and confusion in my early 20s. we embarked on a business journey together, bonded over our imposter syndrome, and made each other feel seen. i’ll never forget our time together at conway, joesph michael, all of our little wine nights. i know there’s so much in store for us, and i can’t wait to see what you do! you inspire me. love you! dave, you taught me a lot about music, art, culture. you’ve talked me out of some low lows, and you always made sure i was having fun and was safe when i was a kid. i love our chats about life, lana (you’re the only one who gets her), the davis days. love you!
(lol it’s giving yearbook, it’s giving acceptance speech. this is my acceptance speech for completing 25 years of life)
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i think i’ve spent a lot of my early 20s trying to be perfect and not fuck up, but i need to fuck up more i think. learn from the fuck ups, take that info and keep it moving.
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my late twenty’s manifesto
the footnotes of my twenty’s feel like sureness, slowness, challenge and mess; it feels a little more raw, honest, scawy. these years look like crooked smiles, belly laughs, handholds, beautiful videos of sunsets at barnsdall, candle lit photographs, sun kissed skin, weekend getaways to some middle of california oasis, and soft moments with my family. the rest of my twenty’s taste like brita filtered water, the bolognese from la buca, peppermint tea, an iced matcha latte on a nice 80 degree day in LA. the back end of my twenty’s smell like morning coffee, overpriced perfume that makes me feel sexy, the latest recipe i’m trying my very best to perfect (i’m no chef, oops), the eucalyptus draping over my showerhead, my favorite hand cream, fresh flowers in the house, salt air, banana bread. my late twenty’s sound like lana del rey on the record player (duh), songs of birds outside my window, my gramoo’s voice on a two hour phone call, a children’s choir at the CEP show, my most favorite people laughing and singing in the car and talking shit and exchanging fun stories and saying i love you a lot of times.
well, that’s my life! thank you so much for spending time with me. i hope you enjoyed it, because i know i did.
if you’ve read this far, you’re a baddie and i truly appreciate your time. i don’t really know how this space is going to take shape, but if you’re a nosy b*tch that wants to keep up with the chibi diaries, subscribe and substack will email you when i publish something again.
til then, xx
charron