over the peak of melrose hill — on recollection and self connection

i'm feeling sappy, can you tell?

I’ll never forget the moment when something huge clicked for me. I was driving in my green Honda Civic from the year 2000 over the peak of Melrose Hill in a brown coat, my jadons, wearing a gold ring; chibi-core. I was dominoing, trying to recollect how I’d gotten here and I realized that everything I had ever longed for (everything that was meant for me), had come. I found myself (and still find myself) in beautiful spaces, cozy homes, in loving communities and electric crowds, in soft clothes and in dream cars, in a seat at the table.

What I’m trying to say is, I realized that I’d swung and I didn’t strike out. And I truly don’t think that I will - until I’m dead, of course. But there’s this thing in me that keeps leading me right, and I’ve been afraid to call it out as I might jinx it. But I don’t think that’s actually the case if I’m being honest.

Anyway, all of that to say I’m feeling proud again and more connected to myself than I have felt in a while - all thanks to warm hugs, long conversations, big laughs, and oceans of love. I love you a lot.

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Chibi